| This is my story, my testimony of the last year of how amazing and how wonderful God is. How He orchestrates everything so perfectly in my life and how He has time and time again graced me with blessings I surely do not deserve.
Some of you may know but I'm sure a majority do not know that I applied for medical school last fall. I had already applied the year before, but was not accepted. Last year, I was heart broken and lost. I felt that God had called me down the road of medicine but had left me to fail. Despite feeling this way, I felt that I wanted to give med school another shot and began thinking about applying again. In the meantime, I thought I would go study nursing. It's amazing how God changed my plans though. 3 independent people suggested me to work in clinical research instead of studying nursing. I felt that God was prompting me to look into it...but I was terrified. I hate not knowing where I'm going and having no plans for the future. The thought of not studying and just looking for a job again scared me so much. I remember praying and asking God to provide me with a clinical research position if that is really where He called me to be. There was only 3 weeks left before I would have to start the nursing program so that wasn't a lot of time to find a job. I started sending out e-mails to different researchers in Toronto and by the grace of God I managed to get an interview in a couple days. The interview was with Dr. Angela C. Personally, I didn't think the interview went very well. She said that I didn't have a lot of research experience and that she normally hired people with a Masters degree (which I do not have). A couple days later, she called me and said that she wanted to hire me! From the time that I started looking for a job and actually finding one was only about a week and a half! Praise God! So Angela used to sit on the UofT medical school admissions committee. As I was writing my applications, I asked her if she could read over my application. She said that she would love to and we began talking. Then she said "something something something believer something something" And then it clicked in my head..."WAIT...Angela's a Christian!" And then we began sharing with each other. She shared with me about her family and how she originally didn't get into med school when she first applied (she's from Hong Kong and you apply after high school there). She told me that she ended up going to the States to do her undergrad and then got into numerous med schools after. She ended up going to John Hopkins for medical school (pretty amazing!). And she told me that God has a purpose and plan and that sometimes we just don't see it until many years after the fact. I was SO excited at this point. As soon as I got off work, I called my boyfriend (Jonathan) and I said "Oh my gosh!! Angela's a Christian!!!" And he said to me "I know." And I said "What do you mean you know?" And he said "Well, God told me that He placed you specifically here to work with her because she went through something similar like you." Then he said "You see, God really does work for the good of those who love Him." I wanted to cry at this point...I felt so loved that God knew this all along...that He had planned it. During my weakest moments when I was filled with self-pity and doubt, God had this all planned out that I would end up working here and He had prepared this just for me. After that, I began applying for numerous medical schools. I applied to 13 in total. The application process was difficult because all the due dates overlapped but praise God because somehow each one was completed and sent in on time. Jon and I began to pray everyday that God would show us exactly where He wanted me to be next year. In the winter, I received 2 interviews. One was in Calgary, the other in Halifax. I should explain how these 2 schools conduct their interviews. It's a rather novel concept. It's a called a Multiple Mini Interview. Basically, there are approximately 10 doors. You are placed in the front of each door and there is a prompt/ scenario/ question there. You have exactly 2 minutes to read over the prompt or scenario or question, formulate your response and then you are told to enter the room. Inside the room, there is one interviewer and you begin discussing the prompt that you just read outside. After 8 minutes, you are told to leave and move to the next door. So the Calgary interivew went SO badly. I cannot express to you how badly it went. The very first interviewer I had was so mean and it shook me up for the rest of the interview. After I came back from Calgary, I had about 1.5 months to prepare for the next one. I was filled with doubt and self loathing. I thought that I sucked, that I was incapable, that I lacked the skill and intelligence to master this interview! I began to seek the Lord and he convicted me of how focused I was on myself. I focused so much on my own inabilities that I forgot about God's amazing power. He brought to light this psalm (one of my favourites): Pslam 139.
" O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD...."
I realized that God already knew what I was going to say in that interview. He knew that I was going to fail and yet I knew that if God called me to Calgary, who could stop God? If God willed for me to get in there, I would surely get in. At the same time, God reminded me of why I was doing all of this. Was I doing this for my glory or for God's? This is all really for God's kingdom purpose. Once I shifted the focus away from myself, and toward God, I was able to start prepping for my next interview. I felt the burden lifted from my shoulders because I knew that God had all the power and was in total control.
A week before my interview at Dalhousie, God spoke this particular verse to me.
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31: 6, 8
I clung onto this verse for dear life while I was in Halifax. I was reminded of God's power in all of this and His plan for me. When I was in Halifax, I was filled with a sense of peace. I didn't feel scared or nervous like I did in Calgary. I was calm. It was only until an hour before my actual interview that I started feeling nervous. And then, I clung onto these 2 verses in Deuteronomy and constantly reminded myself every time I started feeling scared. The interview in Dal was significantly different from that in Calgary. For one thing, I felt that the interviewers were much more friendly. I felt like I was actually having a conversation with them rather than being given interrogated. I was able to talk to the students there and really enjoyed my time there.
Results were sent on May 15. As expected, I did not get accepted into Calgary. Was I sad? Not really. In fact, Jon and I went to celebrate this rejection! We praised God for not allowing me to get into that school because clearly that's not where He wants me to be. I found out about Dal a couple days later and I was placed on the waiting list. I was placed at number 17. That's a pretty good number, except that Dal only accepts 9 non-Maritime students a year. It's interesting that I was placed as #17. They said normally, only 11-15 from the non-Maritime wait list would get into the school. I literally fell right outside of this range. It reminded me that if I was to get in, it would only be by the grace of God that I would be accepted.
Praise the Lord! I was accepted into Dalhousie's medical school a couple days ago! The Lord has been so good to me when I definitely do not deserve it. I will be leaving for Halifax in about 4 weeks. God's plans are timed so perfectly...He has given me just the right amount of time to find a place to live and figure out all the logistics of moving. Praise God.
I believe that this isn't the end of what God has planned for me. I believe He has great kingdom purposes for me moving to Halifax. I believe He will do amazing things in the East coast. I know that the move will be bittersweet...but I believe that He will use this time to refine and grow my faith. I'm excited to start my career as a doctor, to be used by God for His glory and to see what amazing plans God has in store for me.
** Thank you to everyone that supported me, prayed for me, prepped with me and encouraged me.
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